Sleepless, but OK

It’s gone 4am and I’m unable to settle to sleep.

Whirling thoughts are keeping me awake, even though I am tired. So I got up, sat in my almost finished office, and decided to write them out.

Moodle: this is my bugbear at the moment, getting to grips with Moodle. It feels confusing, disorganised. There’s so much information and links – and LU, why not have the links automatically open in a new window? And it feels like every module is set out slightly differently. I’ve been a web designer, I have created online courses on several platforms, I have taken several courses on online platforms, Moodle does not feel like it’s the best of them 🙁 I know it will make better sense in time, but right now – argghhhhh.

Also, some things are in Moodle, some things are in Teams – sigh.

I feel like I am behind already. Starting off the semester with a chest infection, being busy at work, plus redecorating and setting up my home office have all thrown out my routine and sleep. I am feeling disorganised, as though there’s fragments of life whooshing around me and I need to catch them and put them in order, but they’re always out of reach, or I catch one and it gets away when I reach for another. This too will pass. My health (mental and physical) is better than it has been for a while. The office is everything I could wish for. No more redecorating or flat-packed furniture for a few months. I can settle down into a routine, find the one that works for me. And remember, this is a marathon not a sprint.

Side note: while having a significant other in my life again after a long time feels really good and is the main reason for my improved mental health, it is a little bit of a distraction and I need to find balance there. But I have hugs, and that makes many things better. Even though I don’t have balloons.

My health: With decorating and the chest infection I have got out of the routine of going to the gym. And, quite frankly, I’m bored with it. The gym I go to no longer does the classes I enjoy, my friends go at times that I can’t, so when I do go it is to lift weights alone. Sure, there’s sometimes others there, but with the ‘rona I am trying to go at quieter times. Working out alone is lonesome. I want to find other ways to exercise. Not that I will stop going to the gym, lifting weights is so good for me, but now the decorating is done I am going to properly clear out the back room so there’s space for my cross-trainer thing and also Beat Saber. I may even get the RingFit for the Switch as apparently it’s really good. Find ways to move, find fun ways to move.

Thankfully, the one thing that used to always keep me up at night is no longer a problem – money. I mean, I’m not rolling in the stuff, but I have enough and a little bit left over for cake and other delights.

I am happy. I have confidence in myself. All challenges can be overcome.