You’re stronger than you think

This phrase is on a sticker at the top of today’s page of my TN daily journal. I need to remember it, daily.

Remember it when I look at my lit review and wonder what to write next.

Remember when I think of my upcoming Confirmation Panel and the butterflies flitter furiously in my stomach.

Remember when I (foolishly) kinda volunteer to give a talk about my research in front of an audience that is more than my supervisors.


Yes, I was talking with a colleague about an upcoming event, I mentioned that my research was linked with the topic and she immediately was full of enthusiasm for me to take part in the event, to give a different viewpoint on the subject of engagement.

Reader, my mouth betrayed me before my brain could process. It said sure, OK, yeah.

This will be the first time I have ever publicly shared my research beyond my supervisors and random work colleagues. I have never stood up before an audience and given a presentation on it. While my supervision team have been reassuring me that my research is valid, and the topic is great, and I will be great … there is always that niggle (sharp stab) of self-doubt which I experience on a daily basis about anything and everything. It is not an easy thing to overcome.

I am part of an awesome women’s writing group at work and each week we discuss a different topic before getting down to some solid writing time. Last week was about the art of self promotion and so much of the article resonated with me. And one thing is still going around in my head.

Say YES before you’re ready.

This is what I have done, and I am living with the discomfort and fear, yet I know that I can do this, and that I have the support of my fab supervisors and my work colleagues to be able to do it, and do it well.

I am stronger than I think.